Absolutely Nothing by Osoanon Nimuss

Once on a yellow piece of paper with green lines


he wrote a poem


And he called it 'Chops'


because that was the name of his dog

And that's what it was all about


And his teacher gave him an A
 

and a gold star


And his mother hung it on the kitchen door


and read it to his aunts


That was the year Father Tracy


took all the kids to the zoo


And he let them sing on the bus


And his little sister was born


with tiny toenails and no hair


And his mother and father kissed alot


And the girl around the corner sent him a 


Valentine signed with a row of X's


and he had to ask his father what the X's meant


And his father always tucked him in bed at night 


And was always there to do it.


Once on a piece of white paper with blue lines


he wrote a poem


And he called it 'Autumn'


because that was the name of the season


And that's what it was all about


And his teacher gave him an A


and asked him to write more clearly


And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door


because of its new paint


And the kids told him 
that

Father Tracy smoked cigars


And left butts on the pews


And sometimes they would burn holes


That was the year his sister got glasses


with thick lenses and black frames


And the girl around the corner laughed


when he asked her to go see Santa Claus


And the kids told him why


his mother and father kissed alot


And his father never tucked him in bed at night


And his father got mad


when he cried for him to do it.



Once on a paper torn from his notebook


he wrote a poem


And he called it 'Innocence: A Question'


because that was the question about his girl


And that's what it was all about


And his professor gave him an A


and a strange steady look


And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door


because he never showed her


That was the year Father Tracy died


And he forgot how the end


of the Apostle's Creed went


And he caught his sister


making out on the back porch


And his mother and father never kissed


or even talked


And the girl around the corner


wore too much makeup


That made him cough when he kissed her


but he kissed her anyway


because that was the thing to do


And at 3am he tucked himself into bed


his father snoring soundly.



That's why on the back of a brown paper bag


he tried another poem


And he called it 'Absolutely Nothing' 


Because that's what it was really all about


And he gave himself an A


and a slash on each damned wrist


And he hung it on the bathroom door


because this time he didn't think


he could reach the kitchen.

Analysis:

This poem is very powerful and emotive. It doesn't use many literary devices. It does use repetition though in a very clever way. The poem is written in 4 different ‘seasons.’ it is a more powerful way to write and has a bigger impact on the readers. It is written showing the readers a day in the life of a small boy. Each time, the poem is written in the same format and things are lost or changed, as the boy grows up.

I chose this poem because it intrigued me, all I want to do is just to have helped him before he committed suicide, I just want to make the person see some joy in life. The concept of suicide is very depressing in itself and suicide occurs because some people can’t handle the fight against depression. I find that really interesting and a like how the writer showed depression. His mental state got worse as more things changed and it was harder to cope with.

It starts each season with the boy writing a poem on different kinds of papers and written on different subjects. His teacher and mother react differently to each poem. While the boy is growing up, he loses his innocence and his 'easily excited over small things' personality. His eyes are opened, and he realizes that the world is always a perfect place where everyone is in love and pleased with their lives. It shows how a child full of life, with innocence and an optimistic view on the world can fade, when the child is exposed to depression and sin. One season at a time, the optimism fades more and more, until he is so depressed by the reality and pain in he world, he is not strong enough to cope, so he commits suicide.

The first 'season' is very basic, about small things that excite kids. He was writing about his dog because that is an easy and fun thing to do. He wrote on a neat and colourful piece of paper because it reflected his imagination. He was proud of his work and got acknowledgement.  He was giving a star, which is metaphor for the brightness and happiness in his life. He can only remember the feelings of joy and love. His parents were fully committed to loving each other and their children. It is the perfect situation with no gloom or despair.

In the next season, he writes with white paper and blue lines, it is more organized and less imaginative. Slowly he loses that too. Things slowly decay and become worse, instead of getting a gold star, he is asked to write more clearly.  He loses the brightness, and begins to question his worth. His mum doesn’t put it on the wall because of the wet paint; this starts the feeling of loneliness that is eating inside of him.

The next season is written in university about his loss of innocence and his grief, his professor gives him an ‘A,’ but doesn’t question his mental wellbeing. The paper is just torn from the notebook, showing his lack of care in the world. His father and mother lose their communication and passion in their marriage. When things change, the boy is forced to adapt to it, lowering his expectation of the world and becoming more disappointed. Growing up, adult life is portrayed to be fun and exciting, when he finally reaches adolescence he realizes it isn’t as great and the pain and stress can actually squish someone.

The last season shows the readers that the boy after growing up with pain, and losing innocence, optimism and the love & support of his friends and family, he sees no point in living, it means “absolutely nothing” to him. The poem is all about the changes in a child’s life as they grow up ‘alone’ and realise that this dream world is fake, that’s all it is a dream. He starts with happiness and a good home, things changed and people left in his life and it is sometimes quite hard to deal with all the negativity, darkness and hurt in the world. It altered his outlook on life and he saw the only way to escape was ‘a slash on each damned wrist.’